Time to Start the Osama bin Laden Investment Fund?

By Bill Moore

Posted: 06 May 2011

Today, al-Qaida admitted that Usama bin Laden was killed in the May 2, 2011 raid by U.S. Navy Seals on his compound just one mile from the Pakistan Military Academy in Kakul, Pakistan. Naturally and stupidly, they swore to avenge his death, seeking to continue the futile cycle of killing, on both sides; an activity in which no one profits.

If the goal of the likes of al-Qaida and its clones is to drive the infidel out of the land of the holy cities, Mecca and Medina, and end the West's "occupation" of the Moslem world, then I think its time they re-evaluate their strategy and consider redirecting their energy and resources into a much more fruitful -- and less deadly for all -- approach to the "problem."

So, I'd like to suggest an avenue for all you jihadis to consider, one that will help you achieve your goal of purifying the Islamic world and keep the West from poking its unwanted nose into your business.

Now, while there probably isn't a lot we can agree on religiously or politically, I think we can agree that the principle reason the West has been actively engaged in your lands for a century now can be summed up in one word: oil. Unfortunately for you, my deeply religious friend, there's a lot of it buried beneath your sand, and since cars and battleships run much more efficiently and further on oil than coal, our motor-mad citizenry and our energy-hungry military have become, to quote former oilman, George W. Bush, "addicted" to the accursed goo. In effect, your people, my friend, have become drug pushers to the Western world; and as with most drug deals, it's the buyer who loses and the kingpins who win: the tiny minority at the top of the political pyramid in Arabia, Iran (before the fall of the Shah), Libya, etc. -- as well as the "middlemen" -- the oil companies.

So, here's what I suggest you guys do: create an al-Qaida sovereign wealth fund, using whatever resources are left in Usama's estate, along with whatever money's the Saudi's slip you under the table to keep you quiet and out of Arabia, and whatever money you garner from kidnappings, smuggling and other illicit enterprises, and start investing in electric vehicle technologies.

Okay, before you stop laughing and issue a fatwah, hear me out.

You have a huge, under-utilized population of young people, many of them highly trained and desperately under-employed all across the Middle East. You have trained engineers waiting tables in Cairo and Tehran -- okay, I know you Sunni-types don't play well with the Shia -- still you have a huge reservoir of untaped talent of far more worth than the damned petroleum. The young Tunisian who set himself afire and ignited the powder keg of public protest and revolt now rocking your region, was just such a person. College-degreed, no job opportunities. How about you put all that raw talent to work developing an EV ecosystem, first for your region, helping it reduce its own dependence on a single income source: oil, then across the Maghreb, down into Africa and eventually around the globe. Just the Moslem world alone presents a market of a billion potential customers.

The beauty of this is that once we infidels in the West no longer need your oil, we don't have any reason to be there. We can bring home our troops, our naval task forces, and our evil, Satanic notions of human liberty and equality. The more electric cars we drive here in the West, the less likely we are to want to intervene in your Islamic purification efforts.

I know that probably no one knows for sure how much money Usama bin Laden had when he died. I suspect not that much, though it was once speculated that he was worth $300 million, which has now been largely dismissed. His family -- all 50 brothers and sisters -- had to share the billions left behind by Usama's father when he died, money he'd made through juicy, no-bid construction contracts with the House of Saud during the boom days of the 1970s. The family claims they cut off any inheritance Son #17 might have enjoyed after he "went rogue," though the suspicion is, money was still being funneled to him. Still, I'll bet there's enough seed capital there to form a nice venture capital fund that can, through sharp Arab skill and enterprise, be used to accelerate the shift to electric vehicles of all shapes and sizes; and each one that hits the streets serves two purposes: reduces the infidel's need for your oil and makes you money in the process, legitimately.

Best of all, once you go "legit", you won't have U.S. Navy Seals or armed American Predator drones hunting you down and putting a bullet through your skull based on the information gleaned from all those computer files they captured in Abbottabad. See, this is win-win for everyone.

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